Choose Your Words….

It’s easy to get caught up in flowers and chiffon and red Kitchenaide mixers (my registry dream) when you’re planning for your wedding. There’s no shame in it: it’s fun! But don’t lose sight of the promise all the hoopla that is a wedding surrounds.

One important part of the wedding ceremony that can allow you to truly express your unique feelings for each other is your personal vows. Be sure to check with your officiate, however, because many churches will not allow you to deviate from a certain wording (this can be fine – I’m a big fan of the classic “have and to hold”).

Wedding Vows

My friends Liz and Britt just got married this past weekend in a beautiful Kentucky ceremony. I asked if they could transcribe their vows so I could share the special way they worded this powerful promise:

Him: Liz, I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to go all out in my love for you, to give you entrance to my whole life, to love you with a singular love with eyes only for you, to care for your needs and surrender the ones I was never meant to meet, to honor and protect you just as Christ defends His bride, I will lay my life down for you and trust God to be our provider….

I will love you in sickness and in health, as your dad has loved your mom. I will love you In times when the sun shines brightest and when nights are darkest, as my dad has loved my mom. You are a gift to my life and I promise to lead our family to the feet of Jesus and into everything God has for us. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.

Her: Britt, I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to go all out in my love for you, to withhold nothing from you, to give myself only to you, to care for your needs and surrender the ones I was never meant to meet, to respect and encourage the man God created you to be, and with every breath I will cheer you on.

I will see love through in sickness and in health as it has been modeled before me. I will love you in times when the sun shines brightest and when nights are darkest. I promise to follow your lead to the feet of Jesus, trusting God every step of the way. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.

Ribbons & Bows

Once you’ve picked the flowers you would like for your and your bridesmaids’ bouquets, you might think you are done planning this aspect of your wedding. Not so!

Bouquet Styles

There are many different styles of bouquet stems and styles for you to choose from to finalize your bouquet. These are based on personal taste, but you also let the different types of stems and their unique properties come into play.

For example, one popular bouquet option right now is silk wrapping. Roses have long, fibrous stems. This is a perfect flower option for silk wrapping.




Silk Wrapping

Silk wrapping merely describes the process of winding a piece of silk ribbon around your bouquet. Your florist can also add wire to add stability and durability to your bouquet. Silk wrapping can also make your bouquet easier to hold and handle throughout the day.

This can be done both plain or with decorations to the stem. Additional decorations can include:
• Pearl stems
• Bling bling like diamonds or sparkles
• A signature broach or pin
• French braid (an additional criss-crossed wrap over the ribbon base)



Styles of Bouquets

Whether you choose a plain or wrapped stem, there are different shapes and styles of bouquets to choose for both bridal and bridesmaid bouquets. The type you choose has both aesthetic and practical consequences.


Some different choices include:
• Round Bouquets: Implies a round arrangement either supported by a cardboard base under the blooms or just displayed circularly
• Posy Bouquets: Small and easy to hold
•Nosegay Bouquets: Made of cone-shaped flowers, this is perfect for sniffing
• Arm Sheaf Bouquet: Also called the presentation bouquet, this long-stemmed assortment
• Pomander Bouquet or Kissing Ball: This tightly composited round arrangement of structured flowers loops over the bride’s wrist with a ribbon and hangs like a wristlet.

Significant Blooms

Beware a man bearing carnations!


I’ll bet you know that red roses signified romantic love. But did you know that in French culture carnations signify rejection and disdain? In fact, they are a common flower at funerals instead of weddings!

Though many of their deeper meanings play less of a role in the floral choices of modern brides, flowers have always played an important role in wedding ceremonies as well as courtship rituals.

Despite their transient nature (or maybe because of it), I don’t know many girls who aren’t excited by a bouquet from their significant other. It makes perfect sense then that flowers would feature prominently in most weddings in the past and today.


This symbolism was especially important during the strict moral climate in the Victorian Era. At that time, flowers acted as a kind of secret code for lovers. A man could send a flower to his beloved, and she would immediately know his intentions.


However, what is the meaning of the flowers most commonly chosen for wedding bouquets and decorations today? I’ve laid out a few of the most popular choices and their historic symbolic meanings.



Popular Flowers and their Meanings

• Calla Lily: Magnificent Beauty
• Chrysanthemum-white: Truth
• Orchid: Love, Beauty and Magnificence
• Tulip: Love and Passion
• Rose, Red: Love and Desire
• Sunflowers: Pride
• Hibiscus: Delicate Beauty
• Crocus: Youthful gladness
• Gardenia: Purity and Sweet Love
• Baby's Breath: Innocence
• Lily-white: Sweetness
• Dahlia: Dignity and Elegance
• Iris: Faith, Wisdom, Valor and Promise
• Freesia: Innocence
• Begonia: A fanciful nature
• Daisy: Gentleness, Innocence, Loyalty and Romance
• Forget Me Not: Okay, I think you get the point by now!

Now I’m not saying that you have to pick a certain type of flower for you wedding. There are no wrong and right choices, only that which feels right to you.

However, it’s interesting to know the significance placed on flowers and the meanings held without our knowledge!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. R.S.V.P.

Before you can actually have the wedding of your dreams, you have to let everyone know about it. Invitations in some form for your wedding are, of course, a must. Without them, you probably aren’t going to be getting a big turnout for your special event (or receiving the soup tureen you had on your registry).

However, there is not one right way to handle this part of your special day. First, you have to decide what “role” you want your invitations to play.

Some people choose to send “Save the Date” cards as well as paper invitations through the mail. Some do not. “Save the Date” cards often serve as a sort of engagement announcement, so if you are not planning on sending out one of these, this is a nice option. The “Save the Date” is fun because you can play with it a little more than your traditional invitation.

One creative “Save the Date” option is a magnet with the information for your wedding. Many of the recipients of your card would put it on the refrigerator anyway so you are saving them a step. And it’s just cute. You can have a picture of the two of you with the logistical information or you can play with a cute graphic or fun pattern.



This option doesn’t have to break the bank, either. Weddingpaperdivas.com has magnet options that sell for as little as $1.99.

When you are sending actual invitations for your wedding, a good tip is to think about the wedding you are planning and mirror the tone with the letter. This way guests will get a good idea of the type of event you are planning by how the invitation is structured. If you want a formal affair, a heavy card stock with classic embossed or monogrammed details sets the tone.



If fun and nontraditional is more your style, something contemporary and unexpected is a great way to let guests know the type of experience that awaits them. Just don’t forget to add all the important information such as date, time, place, and guest expectations. Also, enclosure cards are another option that will help you manage your RSVP information.

Choices of Tradition

A bride and groom face a lot of choices when they are planning their ceremony and reception for their wedding. Most families come from a variety of backgrounds, and different people have different ideas about what makes a wedding special. This includes different religious upbringing and cultural differences when it comes to wedding traditions. As you seek to bring together two different families, you have to make sure everyone feels like their particular point-of-view is respected on your special day.

For example, my friend Taylor recently married her long-term boyfriend Alex. Taylor’s family came from a long line of strong Jewish tradition while Alex’s family had Christian connections. They thought long and hard about how to avoid making any members of the family feel isolated or in some way not important.

To do this, Taylor and Alex combined elements of their different heritages in their ceremony and reception. While they followed a more Christian format for their vows and the message delivered by their preacher, they also crushed the glass after the final “I do” at the altar. They also incorporated a foot washing ceremony to show their spiritual and romantic commitment to each other.



At the reception, the couple was raised in chairs for the traditional Jewish hora or “chair dance.” After this, they danced their more contemporary first dance. In doing this, Taylor and Alex made sure all their family members and traditions were honored on their special day. This show of unity was a great way for the two different families to come together and join each other as equals as their children entered into marriage.




And remember, no matter what traditions you choose to follow or not follow is your decision alone. You should not feel pressured to do anything you feel uncomfortable with on your wedding day because, most importantly, at the end of it all you are just two people who have sworn yourself to the other.

It’s All in the Details

Despite (or maybe because) of their historical significance, veils are still fairly common today. They come in several varieties including both styles meant to cover the face and those meant to merely clip onto the back of the bride’s head for a draped effect.

Long and short veils done in a shear or netted fabric are often worn during the bridal ceremony though many brides choose to keep the veil to the back the entire day. The choice to keep the veil to the back for the duration of the ceremony and reception is actually growing in popularity. This is probably due to the wider variety of hair styles this allows the bride to wear.


While the long, traditional veil is still a popular choice for the bride wanting to wear this accessory, there are other styles of veils as well.

With the recent popularization of the “Vintage Style Wedding,” the Bird Cage Veil has experienced a resurgence of popularity. This is a sheath of netting that drapes over the bride’s face while not completely restricting her vision for the day. This is a popular choice not only because of the visual effect but for the practicality reason as well. Also, a bride can wear it over her face for the ceremony but pin it back during the reception like other types of veils.

Speaking of veils, here is a picture of me and my friend Becky on her wedding day. While already playing the role of bridesmaid, I also did her hair for the wedding. Here I am pinning on the bird cage veil, and, if I do say so myself, she looked stunning!



Becky also chose augment the bird cage veil with a “feather flower” from, believe it or not, Claire’s (a haven for budding ‘tween’ fashionistas). Hers was a low-cost and high-fashion take on this fad and an example of a trend done well! And she looked beautiful, of course!

A Veiled Interpretation

I know if you are anything like me, dear reader, the last posting on wedding gowns represented only a drop in the bucket of what can be said about that proverbial LWD (Little White Dress). Let’s take a look at bridal veils like the one in the picture and what they can mean for the context of your dress.

The first accessory that comes to mind is the proverbial veil. This traditional draping was not always just a piece of sheer fabric to accent a dress (or to accent the moment when the groom “reveals” her). In ancient Greece, veils were used as a sort of concealing device in a time where arranged marriages were the status quo. The bride’s family certainly didn’t want their potential son-in-law running for the hills when he got a glimpse of his “beautiful” bride! The ancient Chinese had an umbrella-like canopy for the bride to be under to protect her, and this is said to be another forbearer to the modern veil.

In Medieval England, veils served as protection from evil spirits for the bride. They eventually because a symbol of purity as well – perhaps because of its similarity to the headdress a nun wears as well as its white color (a long-standing symbol of purity and virginity). These symbols are still true today, and a veil is never used after the wedding and a bride’s “big reveal” to her husband and to the world as a married lady.

While burqas and forced veiling of women carry negative connotations in today’s cultural and political climate, I still believe the bridal veil is a beautiful symbol of the transition from a virginal girl into a married woman. I do not know if I would personally choose to use this tradition in my own wedding, I always appreciate it in others’ ceremonies because of its ancient ties and heady symbolism.

http://www.perfect-wedding-day.com/bridal-veils-symbolism.html

http://www.bukisa.com/articles/180928_what-is-the-meaning-behind-the-bridal-veil