Timing is Everything

Planning a wedding is a time-consuming and arduous task. From the moment a girl says “yes” to that age-old question (okay, who are we kidding here, from the moment she was born) to the moment when the church doors swing open, a bride spends countless hours checking and double checking to make sure her special day is just right.

One thing that is often overlooked by harrowed brides everywhere, however, is a definitive time line that details exactly how the day is going to progress. Having such a plan can greatly alleviate stress on the day of, and can help things flow naturally while allowing for disasters that might sneak up on you.

Things to Consider
Time for photographs
Time for getting your hair styled
Time for makeup
Time for transportation between venues
Time to eat
Time to allow for the unexpected

Talk to your photographer before the big day and decide when exactly you will be taking the majority of your couple/wedding party photos. Many couples choose to do this between the ceremony and the reception, but having a “first look” session of the couple before the ceremony is a growing trend. While you have to break the “don’t see the bride before the wedding” taboo, the stress it takes away from having your guests waiting while you take pictures is worth it for many brides.

Hair and makeup can take a long time to complete – especially if something goes wrong. Plan in advance and do a trial run for hair and makeup the day before so you can see how much time you need to allot as well as work out any kinks.

While you may be tempted to forgo food due to nerves or to make sure you can still zip up your dress, a wholesome meal is something you should not go without on the day of your wedding. Avoid greasy foods that could make your stomach upset or sugary snacks that will lead to a post-snack drop in energy.
Some sliced fruit, a scrambled egg, and a piece of toast will be easy on your stomach while keeping your blood sugar from dropping you into the “bridal meltdown” danger zone.

Last of all, take a deep breath and relax. Go with the flow. If something goes wrong, so be it. Just remember you’re walking out of there married, and that’s what really counts anyhow!

Gifted Gifts

Weddings involve gifts. That is a given. When people think of weddings, they almost always include a stack of wrapped delights on a table in their mental picture. We know that you as a new couple are supposed to get all kinds of goodies from linens to blenders to cups (oh my).

But have you thought about the gifts you will be expected to give in return?

Expected Gifts

Wedding party gifts

Wedding favors for all guests

Parental gifts

Hopefully after the last posting you have dresses picked out for your bridesmaids (and understand what role they play). However, in return for the money they will be spending on your showers, attire, and wedding gift, it is polite to get something for them.

Typical Wedding Party Gifts

Bridesmaids

Necklace or other jewelry (that can also be worn in the wedding)

Tote bag

Gift certificate for a massage

Jewelry pouch

Photo album or box

Groomsmen

Cuff links (that can also be worn in the wedding)

Beer steins

Key chains

Bottle openers

Luggage tag sets

Many of the above items can also be personalized by engraving or embroidering the person’s name or a sweet phrase about the wedding for a small fee. A handwritten card expressing how much you appreciate the role she is playing in your special day is also appreciated.

But what about everyone else?

Many couples will decide to provide a small favor for each of their guests to take home to

remember their time at your wedding. A fancy desert like a chocolate-covered strawberry in a little gift box or a personalized key chain have always been popular choices.

There are other directions you can go, however. One of the most fun weddings I have been to had a photo booth rented for guests to take pictures in. You went in and the attendants kept sneaking in between shots to put you in funny hats and sunglasses. The strips had the date and the names of the couple printed on it. You could take pictures home, but there was also a station set up where you could cut up your pictures and glue them in a scrap book for the couple to keep. Something for everyone!

The Other Dresses

As my last posting pointed out, the role of the bridesmaid is

very important to a bride and her wedding. A bridesmaid acts as a support for her bride and a planning companion. She also looks the part.

Bridesmaid Dresses

First, a bride must consider what style her wedding fits into and how she wants the bridesmaids’ dresses to reflect this. It would look silly to have your entourage in fancy, long gowns when you’re having a casual outdoor soiree. On the same hand, you don’t want your ladies in cotton sundresses at your art gallery evening affair.

What your bridesmaids wear should:

*Reflect the overall tone of the wedding

*Complement your venue

*Set off the bride and groom’s attire

*Be flattering for your ladies' body types

The last point might arguably be the most important. Unlike popular suspicion, a bride should never try to make someone look her worst in order to make herself look better by comparison. It doesn’t work. Believe me, you are much better off with a group of happy ladies around you in flattering attire than a surly bunch of puffy shouldered drones.

And admit it: you don’t want that in your pictures anyhow!

So once you’ve decided on a theme and color scheme, the next decision is about hem length. Long dresses are traditional for bridesmaid dresses, but new trends are leading to shorter hemlines and even statement prints.

You can go with a more conservative, fancy fabric like a satin or you can go with a cotton or organza for a more casual feel. For a fall or winter wedding, remember details like a wrap or special jacket so you don’t end up with a bunch of cold girls in hodgepodge coats.

And remember, you would never want one of your nearest and dearest to feel uncomfortable. If someone really dislikes your choice of gown for her (for a real reason), be willing to negotiate. Not every body type works best in a strapless tube dress or a plunging neckline.

If this means not everyone in the same dress...so be it! Having your ladies in a variety of gowns is a trend that’s growing in popularity after such role models as Carrie’s wedding in Sex and the City.

The Bridesmaid’s Tale

We’ve all heard it, and for me it’s true: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Above is a picture of me in my friend Becky’s wedding last year. I am obviously in the middle of cracking a joke. I am often in this state as a bridesmaid as I try to help cut the tension with humor.

A bridesmaid stands by the bride not only at the altar but during the whole of her wedding. Historically, bridesmaids accompanied their bride as a sort of protective unit.

While the “ugly bridesmaid’s dress” might be a standard joke today, in Roman times the whole wedding party would often dress alike. This was to confuse evil spirits that might be trying to bring bad luck upon the couple.

It is a great honor to be chosen by a family member or a friend for this role, and I always hate to see someone not taking it seriously.

Because being a bridesmaid is a job. If you think of a wedding as a company, the bride is the CEO and the bridesmaids are her staff. While each may contribute according to her own ability, they must contribute.

They are also like the Board of Directors in that they will be expected to financially invest in the wedding. This can include not only the expected items such as a dress and a gift for the couple but also a specialty item such as a hairpiece.

Another key responsibility is the hosting (and sometimes funding) showers and parties. Check with your bride to see if she has a family member throwing her a shower or if she expects you to help pay for a bridal shower or bachelorette party (a more likely expense).

No matter what you wear, no matter what strange things you are forced to carry, no matter what, remember that you are there for your friend or family member on the most important day of their life.

And one day they might just be there for you!

Prop 8

Today is a good day for marriage.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the frills and fluff of wedding planning and forget one key point about the whole thing: it’s a legal union. Marriage is a universal rite and a fundamental right. It is not just the celebration of your union but the legal bond between two people. And not everyone currently holds that right.

California Ruling

Yesterday, U.S. District Chief Judge Vaughn R. Walker ruled that Proposition 8 was unconstitutional. He stated that the ban violated “the federal constitutional guarantees of equal protection and of due process.”

Judge Walker also wrote that the only foundation for the belief that same- and opposite-sex couples are different is moral and religious beliefs. This is certainly not enough to justify denying anyone their rights.

In case you don’t remember, Prop 8 was a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriages. The people voted, but a vote that curtails anyone’s constitutional rights cannot stand. This ruling was groundbreaking because it came from a federal as opposed to a state constitutional perspective. Before now, all rulings have been on a state-by-state basis. Now, a movement to the Supreme Court for a ruling on this matter seems eminent.


I have to point out that I write this blog from my own perspective. I’m a girl in love with a boy I want to marry one day. And I love weddings. I love gowns and flowers and place settings and all the fun little things that make weddings special.

But I also appreciate the seriousness and tradition a wedding brings. I would never want to deny anyone that right. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but no one has a right to let that opinion stand in the way of someone else’s basic human rights. No one has the right to deny love.

Honeymoon History

So now that you’ve found out where you should take your dream honeymoon, let’s explore the origins of a honeymoon.

While it is now widely accepted as the first trip taken by the new couple (and the first time they can be officially alone as man and wife), there are historic meanings to this tradition.

Like most wedding traditions, the history of the honeymoon varies from one geographical location to the next. And, like a lot of human history, the story isn’t always pretty.

Possible Origins

The first written record of the word itself was a 1552 document called Abecedarium Anglico Latinum by Richard Huloet. Huloet defined the term “honeymoon” as “a term proverbially applied to such as be new married, which will not fall out at the first, but the one loueth the other at the beginning exceedingly, the likelihood of their exceeding love appearing to assuage, the which time the vulgar people call the honey moon”

Okay, the language might have flowed a little better in 1552, but this mostly implies that marital love started sweet but had the tendency to wane after time. Also, the way the definition is structured also implies that this was a term that was commonly used at the time and that its origins lay at an even earlier time.

This probably refers to the ancient practice of the groom’s capture of his bride-to-be. They would hide out for a month while her parents searched for her. The goal of this would be to hope for a pregnancy that would seal the deal before they were discovered.

Another possible source is the practice of a married couple drinking honey wine known as mead for a month after their nuptials. This would help ease the bride’s tensions as well as supposedly act as an aphrodisiac and fertility aid for the period.

Honey = Mead and Moon= Month in this scenario.

Whether you choose to believe this folklore or not, your honeymoon is certainly something to look forward to after the long wedding planning process.